Why I Will Keep Making my Kid's Childhood Magical (STFU HuffPost)

We've all seen the HuffPost post about how the Mom doesn't want to do Elf on the Shelf or the Leprechaun traps. I've seen a lot of people share it, often with the comment, "Yeah!! Enough, already!!" To you, I say, calm the F*&$k down. I know of some holiday Scrooges (and I love you dearly) and I would not dream of criticizing anyone's parenting style. But, no one at Huff asked me why my I like to make a big deal out of holidays some deem meaningless, they just seemed pissed.

I grew up poor. Like, sub poverty, poor. One Halloween, we had Macaroni Salad for dinner and I hoped we got chips and/or apples for Trick-or-Treat. We didn't have central heat or air, so it was a kerosene heater in the winter and a window unit a/c in the summer in the dining room with a sheet hanging in the hallway to keep the air in the living room. When I was little, I didn't know. When I was 12, I realized that my Mom had to work 2, sometimes 3, jobs and I knew it was bad. Just for some perspective, our rent was $400 a month and my Mom got evicted after 12 years--when I was in May term at Wesleyan.

I tell you that to tell you this. Holidays were awesome! Ever heard of Sweetest Day? We got stuffed animals and candy. Have you ever gotten a pair of shorts stuffed with Easter candy? How about Christmas stockings? Those were my favorite. We usually got a magazine and really cool little things that were specific to us. To this day, stockings are my favorite, I love filling them. In our house, Santa usually gets too much stuff and he needs to spread it out by the fireplace. We got sparklers on the Fourth of July, special Birthday Dinners, asparagus on Thanksgiving, sparkling cider on New Year's, candy on Valentine's. It's something to look forward to, it's something to get excited about. It wasn't about the stuff, it was the gesture. A $1 Whitman's heart shaped box of candy was so amazing to me and it is to my kids. It means someone was thinking of you, and it's about gratitude. We didn't do anything for St. Patrick's Day until the Kindy project Jake had when he built a Leprechaun trap. It's like a second April Fool's Day! Yeah, we do that too.

If you don't want to celebrate the holiday, don't. But don't blame me because I do. Be brave enough to tell your kid that you don't believe in Leprechauns or Santa or that you don't think Valentine's Day is a valid reason for candy. It's ok.

Jake just turned 9. His childhood is half over--holy shit! Wow, that's hard to write.



Gracie is 6, hers is a third over. Dammit!



I wanna keep them little forever. Why wouldn't I want to make their childhood magical?



STFU up, HuffPost.

It's so hard, to say goodbye to 2013....

I know it's been forever since I posted...and I know 2013 has been gone for a couple of weeks, but it's hard to say goodbye to what I call The Year of Shayna. (Cue the music)

I had a big year and I learned a lot about myself. I'm 36. Sad? A little. Better late than never, right? Anyone who is my FB friend knows I'm a runner. Yep, I used to say, "I'm not a real runner, but I'm working on it." I'm a runner. I may be slow and my legs may have noooo muscle memory, but I run.

PSA announcement: My weight doesn't define me and I don't have a traumatic event like The Biggest Loser contestants that caused me to gain weight. Unless you count my pregnancy with The Loud One, where if I got too hungry I would vomit. I think he just REALLY liked tacos. So, that was 50 lbs gained and after my emergency C-section, 0 lbs lost. Then there was the almost perfect pregnancy with Kitty where I gained my 30 lbs and then lost 0 after a second C-section.

What I learned about me in 2013:

1. I'm stronger than I thought.
I've never really worked out. Getting kicked out of Tae-Bo class with Dana Karstensen-Bryan for play fighting and occasional runs with Mary-Lynn Truelove are the extent of it. Oh, and there's the step class I took at Wesleyan...I did run those days because it was a night class and I had to run back to my room after it was over to catch "Dawson's Creek." I've never thought I was strong. When I saw our New Year's picture for 2012/2013, I couldn't believe it. It was our mustache pic and I posted it and didn't see anything wrong--I may have imbibed a bit. When I saw the pic the next day---I felt like crying. Was that me?

I started walking. In February, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk and I couldn't stop it or catch myself (It was probably pretty funny for whoever saw me). I skinned both of my palms and my chin and I'm pretty sure I cracked my kneecap. Really? I couldn't even catch myself? A mile was hard. A mile hurt. Walking. Wow. I've said I wanted to do a 5k for a while, but I didn't really do anything about it. I followed the Tripp Halstead story and my heart went out to him and his family, especially Stacy, his Mom. When a 5k was planned for him, I used that as my motivation. I used the RunDouble Couch to 5k app...the first day was run 60 seconds and walk 90 seconds for 20 minutes. I couldn't run all the runs. And it pissed me off. So I did it until I could. It hurt and it was terrible, but I wanted it so bad. I ran a little circle in my backyard because I was too insecure to run anywhere else. This Monday, I ran 3.5 miles. :)


2. I AM a good Mom.
Ok, so I kinda always knew this. I love them more than anything and I used to feel like taking time to do something other than be with them was awful. Somehow, in 2013, I thought the idea to take time for myself was a good idea. I valued my run/walk time and I was more present with my kids. It really is true, you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of someone else. Running has given me patience...I think our entire household is thankful for that!

3. I don't always have to win...and who cares if I'm last?
I want to win. If I don't think I will, I won't try or I'll give up. I still struggle with this, I can easily talk myself out of a good run...how do I convince myself? That's work for 2014. My goal for my first 5k was not to be last. I was so nervous...but why? Because I was running in public. People would see me walk, and at that point, I couldn't run the full 3 miles. And it was AMAZING!! Even if I was last, I would have been elated!! There's something about being in a group and finishing what was a struggle for you that makes you feel like you're THE SHIT!

4. I can inspire people. (Seriously)
Everyone at work knows I walk at lunch. Several people have said things like, "I just can't walk at lunch and feel musty all day." BTW, it's not 1992, who says "musty" anymore? But I have had several people tell me about their walking or gym workouts. I have lost 44lbs in 2013. I no longer look pregnant, and you can even see my collarbone a little bit...so it's noticeable. I have had a few FB friends tell me they wanted to walk (or workout) because they see my endless RunKeeper posts. I draw inspiration from blogs like RunSaltRun, Runner Unleashed and From Fat to Fit Chick and I'm happy if my posts stir something in you. Amanda Avery Cooper, Amy Stone, Jywanya Dillinger, Laura-Lee McCranie, Tracie Wilson, Robby Jennings (my bro has lost 50lbs!!)Jennifer Dunson Matson, Danielle Fleming Fanning, Erin Bennett and Carrie Walker (my 2x 5k partner) have all inspired and encouraged me. I have quite a few people at work (which if you follow my FB posts are usually the most unhappy people in the world) tell me about their walking or gym workouts. I feel honored when people I hardly know tell me about their workout accomplishments, even if they are trying beat me. One lady told me she was, "up to 4 miles a day, more than you do..." and I wasn't even mad. It is more than me, but she has a journey to go on and she'll learn soon enough that comparing yourself to others is counter productive.  One of my proudest moments was when my kids wanted to run with me in my last 5k. They were so excited to have their own race (1mi Fun Run). I'm signing up for my 3rd 5k and they want to do the Fun Run too. John is amazing to go with us and wait....he's not a good waiter, but he does because it's important to me.

5. Leave it on the course
Do I need therapy? Probably. I'm a Nervous Nelly and a Worry Wart. I've chewed my nails to the quick my whole life....except one day I looked down and I had grown fingernails. Really, a small white line was something to be chewed off and STAT. But running allows my mind to roam...and I guess I work out my problems on the course. My nails are great! Although, my home manis leave something to be desired since I have no frame of reference for my first 35 years.

6. Revenge is a hell of a show, but I don't want to pay Hulu Plus for Season 3.
What? It's not all about running! Sometimes, it's about "Neckflicks" as we call it. Thankfully, Murder She Wrote is back to fill my void...but what happens to Nolan????

Will running change your life? I'd say yes, but the point is to find what will. Life is great and I love my little family more than anything! Here's to 2014!!

This is this kids 1st Run and Carrie's and my 2nd 5k....we're on for our third 5k in February!!

I'm sorry for the RunKeeper posts, but I need it. Help a sister out!